Unforgiven

Growing up, I was exposed to a multitude of reading material, aka comic books. A personal favorite of mine are the westerns. I've imagined myself as the lonely bounty hunter travelling from town to town, looking for peace. As I face the endless drone of everyday life as an overworked, underpaid minion, I realize that what I've read years ago is very similar to real life.

I am the cowboy. I move from town (job) to town, meeting different kinds of people (colleagues). When you first enter the town, the people look at you suspiciously, exchanging whispers and analyses of your probable past. Then one person tries to befriend you, teaching you the "ropes". You are first disarmed by the generous offer of help, but later you realise that you're being set up for your upcoming downfall. Conflict hits you like a two-ton rock. You somehow survive and decide to move on to another town. And it continues, on and on, till one day, you meet your match, then you die.


Planet Earth, stop the bus. I'm getting off.

The Scientist

What is it with women? The better you treat them, the more they treat you like shit. I've noticed this since I was young and I've always discounted it as women being weird. I thought there must be a logical reason for this kind of freaky behaviour but I was too young to ask more questions.

Then, around 2 years ago, I decided to embark on a quest. A quest to determine why is it that women like to be treated like dirt. A quest to determine why are women drawn to men who beat them up, insult them, and cheats on them.

At that time, I met two women separately. I can see that they had very similar qualities. Both educated, both having the same kind of breeding, they almost looked the same, for Pete's sake. Let's call them A and B. For A, I was really nice to her. Y'know what I mean. I did the whole thing. Concerned phone calls, listening to her drone of work-related gossip and rantings and bringing her out to dinner. I regularly complimented her on her eyes, shoes, bag, fashion sense, etc.

For B, the approach I took was the exact opposite. I acted disinterested. I never bought her gifts, never called her, never asked her out. I sometimes even pretended to forget her name.

Startling discoveries. A started to act weird. She would constantly make excuses as to why she can't go out. She would not return my phone calls. The whole works. For B, she started calling me at night, every night. She was extra nice to me. She bought me gifts, say sweet nothings, giving me very weird looks, etc.

Conclusion: For women, the way you treat them is inversely proportional to the way they treat you.

Weird.

Live and Let Die

Imagine living in a world where someone tells you what to do(without question), controls what you eat, checks your sodium levels while you piss, tells you what to wear, and voila! You're in Singapore! Oh, my mistake, this world depicted in the movie is supposedly fictional.

In a country where they have campaigns like "Speak Good English" and "Don't Forget Your Mother Tongue" running concurrently, it's not hard to imagine why people here are so fucked up. I remember a few weeks back when I was in the train, on my way to work. I saw this 70ish woman walking in the train. Being the (Ahem!) gentleman that I am, I nicely offered her my seat. Guess what happened. The old bag said to me, in her irritating uneducated I-queue-up-for-one-hour-for-a-bottle-of-mineral-water voice, "You punk! Just because I'm old, you think I can't stand on my own?" Well....excuuuusssse me! I was just trying to do what every decent person learns in school and at home. I am, also, following what signs plastered all over the train are trying to achieve. "Be courteous, offer your seat to those who need it more." Sorry folks, from now on, I'm not moving my ass off the seat for anyone. Just thank one of your senior citizens.

Old people suck. I guess what Steve Buscemi was right. You wanna eat the burger, but do you wanna meet the cow?

In The Zone

Ever been in a relationship where everythings seems to be in cruise control? It seems so many couples these days are so used to being attached with their partners that they wouldn't think of existing without their "beloved". Even if one of them is obviously screwing around, the other doesn't care. You try to convince the "other" that he or she deserves better, but he or she still refuses to let go. All because he or she has "invested" to much time in the relationship.

I personally have not been in one of these relationships, so forgive me if I sound holier than thou. I don't guarantee that I will never be in one of these, but for my sake, I hope I have the kahunas to say, "Fuck it, I'm out."

Seven Days

What Would You Say?

Have you ever noticed that everything we have ever been taught, or told is all based on a theory? What if that theory is wrong? Who did the work to "understand" a concept, and how do we know their work is trustworthy? For the first 18 to 26 years of our lives, we are taught everything we need to live on. And all of that vital information we need to survive is based on a handful of "theories". What if all of those theories are wrong? Everything we have ever known will be thrown awrye. And we will be tossed back to the feudal ages of Europe in the Post-Roman Empire period.

For the most part, people were told what to believe even if a few enlightened thinkers wanted to rock the boat for an "accepted" idea. Today, most of those ideas are accepted as true. The only difference between then and now is you will not be murdered for saying it is not true. There are many prime examples of how these theories could be wrong. If you have ever taken an upper level chemistry class, you know that the whole periodic table is based on the theory that elements bond with eachother. What if everything we have is not made of smaller parts, but rather exist as what they are now? Wouldn't that throw centuries of atomic testing away? How did Mendeleev figure the mass of one atom, especially in Czarist Russia in the 1800's. All of his work contributed to a modern table of elements.

Our entire scientific world is based on chemistry, so one man's, possibly incorrect, work is the basis of our lives.If you are deeply religous, I suggest you skip over this part, for I know that I am sinning by questioning the Word of God. Another example, though it may be a sin, is the bible. We are given the choice to blindly accept the fact that we are part of a divine heritage. Of course I accept that, because it is not logical that everything in existence just popped up one day. But if any of you readers follow the King James Version, you should know that in Revelations, God tells us that when we are old enough, we will "graduate" and move out of his kingdom, to move on and make worlds of our own. Surely he can't be the original maker of everything if he promises us we will create our own universe. Where did he come from? Isn't it logical that there are other Gods before him.

The Bible later goes on to tell you that you should worship no other Gods accept the one and only. How can this be? Everything is based on theory, I feel like I have found many loopholes, esp. in religion. I do not in any way, want to force my opinion on you, but rather make you question the things you have been told your whole life.

You are The Sharp Hint of New Tears. The song that
gave Dashboard Confessional it's name, you are
wondering how your love failed and why you are
always the forgiving person.

Which Dashboard Confessional Song Fits You?

I am 56% Emo.

Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater.

Take the
Emo Test
@ FualiDotCom

Big, Bad Motherfucker

You don't tolerate shit. The .45 you carry in you pocket is scary, but your words are the real threat, especially when you decide to get Biblical. Try to take it easy, but maintain that edge of yours, which tends to keep people wary in your presence. Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

Indifferent

by ojl

Indifferent, why are you so indifferent?
How can you stand there with all your friends?
How many nights I spent thinking about what went wrong?
How many days go by trying to act strong?
Those days of happiness are gone
Now I am here alone
Trying to figure out what went wrong

When I see you I try to act...
Strong, stronger than what I can ever be
Keeping all the pain locked up inside
Spend so many nights trying to kill myself
For what I did, or what I didn't
All the pain, all the hurt,
Why can't I deal with it?
Why do I act as if I was...

Strong, stronger than what I can ever be
Keeping all the pain locked up inside
Spend so many nights trying to kill myself
For what I did, or what I didn't

Indifferent, How can I act indifferent?
When all I've lived for is gone
Trying to find ways to killThe pain
I have inside, Still.

Hot Stuff

I dunno why, but I've always have an affinity for Koreans. Korean-Americans, to be more specific. They are, in my humble opinion, the perfect mixture of hot looks and sexy american voices. Lately, I've been hooked on "Battlestar Galactica", a re-imaging of the famed sci-fi series in the late 70's. Gripping plot, cool space battle sequences, Boomer, great drama and dialogue, Boomer, deadly & manipulative cylons, Boomer, etc. Oops, drool all over the keyboard.

Ok, sue me. I'm a fan. I 'm a Boomer-freak. Boomeranic. Why couldn't I meet someone like her? Or better yet, why can't I meet her? She can turn me into her cylon-slave anytime. Grrr.....

Cylons have never been so sexy.

Screw you humans. I'm turning cylon.

Vindicated

I've always been amazed how music lyrics imitate real life. Just a week ago, all of us at the office were preparing for a major crisis and were figuring out ways to salvage the situation. However, after all that, a week later, we are left wondering if we would have jobs the next week. New management has come and it seems as if some proverbial shit will hit the proverbial fan.

Despite denials, it seems as if some heads will be cut. More specifically a LOTTA heads will be cut. Struggling employees such as myself, are left wondering how to pay the bills in the following months. The higher-ups, however, are starting to jockey for position. Former "loyalists" to previous management are starting to tug at new management's coat tails. A big bunch of hypocrites. It's actually so revolting to watch.

Vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong. I am right, I swear I'm right. I swear I knew it all along. Some person out there still thinks so. Have a good life, while we are outside, in the rain, begging for coffee money.

FUCK IT.

Stand Up

Why do people whine and bitch about everything in the whole world but do nothing about it? yes, we bitch about our measly salaries and how shitty the bosses treat us. But why don't we go up to the boss and say, "Fuck you, you hack. You know jack shit about what I do, then you tell me how to do my work? Well, I think you should kiss my ass. Stick your 'advice' up where the sun don't shine, you under-sexed piece of turd!" Why can't we say that? Fact is, all of us are spurred by one desire only. To survive. And to survive, you have to take whatever crap they give you until such time that an opportunity comes along that allows you to stand up to your boss and say, "Go rot in a ditch, you durian-smelling sphincter!'

Oh, how I await that day. But in the meantime, I think I'll continue to whine and bitch.

Somebody save me.

Free Falling

On saturday, I was witness to one of the greatest show of compassion in human history. And mind you, this kind of compassion does not entail giving your life's savings away. The Live 8 show reminded me of how lucky we are in this world of harsh realities. I realise that as I am writing this, 50 children in Africa has died. All beause the haves don't realize the situation of the have nots. Admittedly, I watched the concert for selfish reasons, like most people. C'mon admit it. You watch it because you wanna see your favorite artists perform in one show. And the thing is, there's nothing wrong with it, as long as you know what is going on thousands of miles aways in a small vilage in Africa.

I work in a company known for its "compassion" for ths less fortunate. Its mission is supposedly to "save" lives. It does in some way. But the big picture is, as you save one life, you're destroying hundreds of lives. When you talk about charity shows, Live 8 is an example to emulate, not to watch some actress "crying" uncontrollably, leaking snot and tears all over the place. Gambling, fake tears, marketing strategies, that's not what charity is. It is the sincerity of people to voice out to others about the misfortune of the less fortunate.

To all the children that died as I write this, may you forgive all of us selfish human beings and may God have mercy on your souls.