White Flag

I give up. My life is screwed. Today, as I peel myself off my bed and take my usual psychotic-cold shower, I realized something. As long as I'm stuck in this dead-end job, I won't be anything but a dog just waiting for the monthly bone. I'm sure millions of others have felt this way. I'm sure YOU've felt this way.

There I was, dripping wet in all nakedness, pondering my future. I got out of the shower, still groggy from my 1 and a half hour-sleep mode, and late. When I eventually reached the office, it was 1 minute before 9. As I ran the final 300 meters, trying desperately to flash my attendance in time..FLASH ATTENDANCE??? Like in kindergarten? You bet. Apparently, life has a sense of humor and irony. Imagine, we work our ass off in school, trying to land job and gain financial independence, only to end up in a place where they treat you MORE like a kid than when you were 2 years old. And you have to attend TRAINING. Training includes watching old movies and listening to what some guy thinks about it. And the worst thing is, you're paying for it. A learning culture, they call it. What a crock! It's like saying King Kong is a itty bitty chimpanzee.

I give up.

Bartender

Every one of us, at one time or another, has imagined ourselves to be a character in a movie. Some like to be the dashing hero who swoops in to save the day. Some want to be the brooding reluctant hero. Some ladies imagine themselves being the damsel in distress, rescued by the Brad Pitt-lookalike hero. Some ladies want to be the kick-ass character of Linda Hamilton in Terminator. Some ladies want to be one of the ultra-modern but quirky characters of Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives. Me, I've always imagined me to be the guy who works the bar in those old cowboy westerns or cosmopolitan movie...the bartender. The guy who is always friendly, lending an ear to everyone who needs someone to listen. The guy who quotes Chaucer and at the same time whips up a Long Island Ice Tea or a fiery Bloody Mary. The bartender always has time for others, but not for himself. Have you ever seen someone listening to the bartender's problems? I didn't think so.

However, the occasional hot mama leading lady wouldn't hurt though.

On & On

It pisses me off that I have to wake up at the crack of dawn on Saturday. While the rest of the country is in their beds snoring away, I am in the train, on my way to work. I don't even feel that I have weekends. Monday to Friday, the usual grind, Saturday, sit through some crap, and Sunday, do housework.

I dunno what's worse, taking crap from my bosses, or doing my laundry. There are some pros and cons. Let's see. In the office, I earn money (BIG PLUS), I get to joke around with colleagues, I learn some skills (not much, though), and the best of all, I get to stay in temperature lower that the 38deg outside. On the other hand, at home, I get to wear, or not wear, whatever I want, I get to sleep anytime I want, I get to read, I get to listen to some tunes, and best of all, no one can tell me what to do. Hmmm....choices..choices....

Be right back.

Hopes and Fears

Today, I have come to realize two things. One, life can sometimes be cruel, and two, the true test of strength is the ability to live your life despite adversity. I went to a centre treating kids with cleft lip and craniofacial deformities. There, I witnessed how families can be torn apart by tragedy. I also witnessed how strong some families can be. I look at myself and feel disgusted. I feel sorry for myself. I take things for granted. These families don't.

But I admire these kids. They continue to live on, not a care in the world. While all of us say "aw...." they just go about their business. A dilemma: We see kids like this in our world. But wouldn't they see us differently in their world?

Be thankful for what we've got.

Screaming Infidelities

If you think only men fool around, think again. There have been numerous cases of infidelity from the supposedly "fairer" sex. Men, when they fool around, use the excuse of hormonal imbalance, causing them to "hunt" for new prey. However, women who look for some sausage somewhere else, always blame men for their indescretion. When they get confronted, they always use this line. Get this. "It's not you, it's me." Did I hear some male cowdung? What the fuck kind of excuse is this. Why don't you just say, "I was tired of you, and decided to try something else." At least this is honest. Then, they use the "crying lady" technique and expect you, the "bad guy" to say, " It's ok, you can cheat on me again anytime. I forgive you."

This is why I sometimes think women are more superior than men. They can wrap you around their little fingers and play you for a fool. So men out there, beware of these creations of evil. They are all around us. However, as they saying goes, " Women, can't live with them, can't kill 'em".

disclaimer: I am attracted only to women and will always fall prey to their charms. Deep down, I'm just a punk.

The Remedy

Don't you get tired of listening to other people's opinions? Some say that the only thing you can get free is advice. Or, as one of my colleagues calls these nuggets (of shit) gian. You know what I mean. When someone (with absolutely NO KNOWLEDGE of what your doing) tells you to do reasearch on what people YOUR age thinks, that is pushing it. This, from someone who's education includes episodes of America's Funniest (Horniest) Home Videos, Man(whore)hunt, and Adventures of the Sexually Depraved ( I made up this last one, but I wouldn't be surprised .)
When someone attacks not only your intelligence, your ability to do your work, your physical appearance, your education, and most of all your race, you'd expect this person to be of a certain class or pedigree. But NOOOO...this is from someone who makes Linda Blair's character in The Exorcist look like a Playboy Playmate. And don't forget this person has the brain size of a cockroach. (To all cockroaches, sorry for the insult.)

The remedy. Sniper from 100 yards. One bullet to the head.

Be back in a bit.

A Long, Long Road

Why is it that life throws at you so many questions that you cannot answer? It hits you like a curveball. It surprises you, it bewilders you, it pisses you off. There are some times that even all the education in the world, does not matter. It's crazy. Like today, I was on the subway with someone whom I know gets off at the same station, takes the same bus I take, and works at the same building as me. She sits in front of me. So I just give her a nod, then go back to my book. I hear my station being called out, and I keep my book. I look around, and the lady was nowhere to be seen. I walk to the bus stop, not there. Then when I get to the office, there she was, calmly walking by. I don't recall any stop before mine that would get her there, especially not that fast. I'm pretty darn sure there is none. How did she get there? Creepy..... Another mystery. If people from Canada are Canadian, people from Brazil are called Brazilian, America -American, Australia-Australian, Britain-British, Denmark-Danish, China-Chinese, Japan-Japanese, you know the drill. Why are people from Myanmar called Burmese, not Myanmarese, or Myanmish, or Myanman, or Myish? Riddle me this.

There are so many questions left unanswered. This is just the beginning of a journey towards knowledge, or more specifically, behind my neurosis. Be back in a bit.